Two are better off than one, because together they can work more effectively. If one of them falls down, the other can help him up.
Ecclesiastes 4: 9 – 10
We have a lot of purposes in life.
There is no one answer to the question of “What is the purpose of our life?” We have a purpose as the sons and daughters of Christ, we have a purpose as husbands and wives, as mothers and fathers, daughters, sons, friends – whatever role you play in life, every one of them has a purpose. Even though I knew my purpose as a wife, it wasn’t completely clear in black and white until a wedding I photographed last week.
It was a beautiful wedding, in a big Catholic Church’s, at night, the gorgeous cathedral ceilings and tall stained glass windows, lit by Christmas lights and candles with just the lights on the altar. It was gorgeous. The priest who celebrated the wedding surprised me when I first met him. He was really young, which, sadly, is hard to find these days. Then he surprised me again during his homily. He started talking about a funeral, and spouses dying a few days apart. I’ve heard some iffy homilies that weren’t exactly appropriate, so I got a little nervous. Then he quoted the dying husband whose wife had passed a couple days prior. The man said, “Father, I’m ready to go. I have done my life’s work. I got my bride to Heaven.”
Whoa. It hit me as I sat up in the choir loft with my camera. That’s our ultimate goal. To help bring our spouse to Heaven. I told my husband about it that night, and how he remembers this and I don’t is beyond me, but he said our priest talked about that being our jobs during his homily at our wedding! Maybe that’s when the change really took hold in me to make our marriage more Christ centered. That homily planted the seed, and this homily was that seed breaking through the ground to bloom.
Love must be completely sincere. Hate what is evil, hold on to what is good. Love one another warmly as Christians, and be eager to show respect for one another.
Romans 12: 9 – 10
Everything we have been trying to do to bring Christ into our marriage suddenly had a bigger and more important purpose, if that was possible. I guess you could say it created a goal, something to work towards. A driving “Why” purpose. In everything we do in our marriage, it should be helping get the other closer to Heaven. Which is a huge task. And it makes me a little nervous to tell you the truth.
How do I do that? What in the world can I do to help my husband enter God’s kingdom when that day comes? He has always been the one to help me be a better person; he brings me closer to God. If it wasn’t for my crush on that quiet guy at church that I didn’t have a chance with (spoiler, I married that guy), who knows where I would be? He started his job before we even knew we would be married! Which means, we do things to help our spouse without even knowing it…
My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.
KJV: 1 John 3: 18
The task isn’t as daunting as we think. The little things matter. Live in Christ and your marriage will follow suit. When Christ is the center of our lives, everything else will align with our values, and if they can’t, they leave our life. By making Christ the center of my life, it has helped bring DJ closer to God, and in turn our marriage. It isn’t always actively trying to do some type of activity or always having conversations about God, it’s simply being their partner in the journey to Heaven.
Though I can’t always be passive. I let DJ read this and he said, “but we have to call each other out too.” And he is exactly right! We can’t sit passively and just hope our influence is enough. We have to be verbal about our concerns or ideas. We have to actually talk about it. Which is actually really hard for DJ and I to do. I talked about how quiet he is in my post “Commuunicating with a Quiet Husband.” It can sometimes be like pulling teeth to get a good, deep, conversation going with him. But hey, he told me to call him out on it!
Calling him out on it is not nagging him about it though. I try VERY hard not to be that nagging wife. By “calling him out,” I mean just saying something along the lines of “we haven’t been doing the best we can with…” or “what do you think we can do to become closer to God?” And even the dreaded “we should really start trying to pray together more.” Because neither of us have ever really taken part of group prayer, it’s almost awkward for us. It’s also a whole other type of intimacy in a marriage that is hard to break through.
We have been working on it by doing the Faith Night In boxes, which have helped immensely! But the act of actually praying together…we haven’t really mastered that yet. But we are working on it. And one day I’ll be able to post how we did it, because I know we can’t be the only couple struggling with that. If you have any ways that have helped you and your spouse, please drop them in the comments below!
No one ever said the walk to God’s kingdom would be an easy one.
It’s my job to get DJ to Heaven, but it’s also his job to get me to Heaven. We are partners in this walk of life. I help him, he helps me. That’s what a marriage is. Our ultimate goal is not only to get the other to Heaven, but to be in Heaven together.
This, then, is how we will know that we belong to the truth; this is how we will be confident in God’s presence.
KJV: 1 John 3: 19