My favorite thing to do when I was younger was play house. I absolutely loved dolls and pretending I was a mom, and I dreamed of being able to be a wife to my prince charming. If there was a baby at any get together, you knew where to find me. I watched cheesy romance movies all the time and filled my head with daydreams of my own romance. Being a mom and a wife is what I always wanted above any career path, it is what I was made for.
“Perhaps this is the moment for which you were created.”
Which is why I let that be who I am. Of course I have other “jobs,” I am a photographer and I am a blogger, but those don’t define who I truly am. I love being those, but they don’t make me feel complete the way being DJ’s wife does, or being SJ and AJ’s mom does.
Because being a photographer and a blogger doesn’t make me be a better mom and wife, being a mom and wife makes me a better photographer and blogger…and daughter, and aunt, and friend, and Christian, and pretty much any other role in my life.
“How hard it is to find a capable wife! She is worth far more than jewels! Her husband puts his confidence in her, and he will never be poor. As long as she lives, she does him good and never harm.”
Proverbs 31: 10 – 12
I am lucky enough to have a husband that supports me in every aspect of my life, if it wasn’t for him I honestly don’t know where I would be in my life, but I don’t think I would like it. If being his wife makes me a better person, why would I not want that to define me?! Why would I not want one of the best aspects of my life to be one of the core parts of who I am? Being a good wife and embracing it fully gives me purpose and reminds me that I am “worth far more than jewels.”
I have had major confidence issues throughout my life. I never felt good enough for anyone, I never fit in anywhere, I didn’t ever have a best friend or a close group of friends, I never excelled at anything in particular, which gave me the confidence issues I still fight with today. But what battles those demons is my marriage and embracing the knowledge that God put me here to be a wife and a mom. I have confidence now because DJ has confidence in me. I am not ashamed to admit that I need him. Because through him I have been able to realize that I am strong, and I can do anything. I have my own business as a photographer, I am not afraid to set my heart on a goal and go for it, and yes I know I could do all of this alone, but I can do it better with him by my side.
“She is strong and respected and not afraid of the future. She speaks with a gentle wisdom. She is always busy and looks after her family’s needs. Her children show their appreciation, and her husband praises her. He says, ‘Many women are good wives, but you are the best of them all.’ Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honors the LORD should be praised. Give her credit for all she does. She deserves the respect of everyone.”
Proverbs 31: 25 – 32
As I said, I never really fit in anywhere growing up. Then I started dating DJ and I began to feel complete. It’s cliche, but I truly believe in soul mates. That God has someone out there that will make up what your soul is missing and make you feel whole. Just like Genesis 2:24 says:
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one.”
Marriage literally made us become one. DJ is a part of me, which makes being his wife ME, it is who I am.
My little family brings me a joy I didn’t know was possible. DJ always makes me smile and knows how to make me feel better, and our girls bring me happiness in the smallest moments. Like seeing AJ being able to actually see the world around her finally and how she stares in naive amazement. Or how even when I’m getting frustrated, SJ will come hug me and it makes everything fade away. There is nothing more pure than a child’s love.
“Let your father and mother be proud of you; give your mother that happiness.”
I can’t even explain the happiness my girls bring me, it is overwhelming. So of course something that brings me that much joy will be the definition of who I am.
I am a mom. I am a wife. These two parts make me whole, they make me be a better person, they bring me overwhelming happiness, they are the driving force as to why I work hard at every other aspect of my life. I was made for these roles by God, and I intend to follow his lead in letting them be the definition of me.