themessagemama

November 1, 2017 by themessagemama

Halloween Gender Reveal & DIY Gender Reveal Costume

It’s a …GIRL! To say I was completely shocked is an understatement. I was 100% convinced it was a boy. This pregnancy has been pretty different (so far) than my first with SJ. With her, all I wanted was sweets and orange juice. I couldn’t even look at pizza or any type of pasta. This time, I want burgers, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, chicken parmesan – all of it. I can’t stand sweets, even though I’m generally a sweets lover. It’s been very emotionally tolling to not even want to look at a Reese’s pumpkin.

I’ve also been carrying different, and I’ve had about 3 or 4 dreams that it was a boy. DJ’s family has all boys, and SJ was the first girl. My family has all girls, so I guessed we would have the first boy on that side. Seriously, everything pointed to a boy!

But, we are over the moon excited that SJ will have a forever best friend.

I cannot wait to watch my girls grow up together. Of course DJ is fine with it because like he says, he’ll still take the girls hunting and work on cars with them. If we had a boy that wouldn’t mean that he would want to go hunting or do any of that anyway. And I know he will forever be wrapped around his little girls’ fingers. And I am pretty excited I get to use #girlmom for all my posts now (it’s the little things)!

My family was convinced it was a boy just like I was. Which made their reactions priceless! They thought I wanted to get photos of their reactions because it was a boy, the fact that it was a girl made their reactions even better! My mother-in-law was the only one who was right by guessing it was a girl! And the best part of everyone’s reaction, was the look that SJ did to mimic their surprise!

The costume

Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted SJ’s Halloween costume to be our gender reveal. I was a little worried, because my doctor’s office does the peek-a-boo sonogram at 16 weeks for those impatient people like my husband and I. And I turned 16 weeks on Saturday, the 28th. Of course they wouldn’t do it one day early, so I had the weekend to get everything together! I had no idea how I was going to do it. I figured I would have to have it completely planned out, or have two completely different costumes ready to go.

So, I went where every mom goes to get ideas for their kids, Pinterest! I couldn’t believe it. There was NOTHING for a gender reveal costume. I could not find a single thing no matter what I searched, “Gender Reveal Costume,” “Gender Reveal Halloween Costume,” “Older Sibling Gender Reveal,” and so many more. I couldn’t find a thing. Which is when I decided to go literal with it, gender reveal balloon box!

I started putting together my plan to make it. I looked up circle punch cut outs to make the job a little easier, to get a couple different sizes it was going to cost me around $60, and yeah, that was not going to work for me. I didn’t know if I would be able to pull off being able to cut out all those circles, because one, I have no patience, and two, I have arthritis in my right wrist thanks to a lovely snowboarding accident when I was in high school.

Then, during one of my Zulily window shopping moments, I found shirts that said “Will Trade Sister for Candy” and “Will Trade Brother for Candy” which were too cute not to get. I decided to scrap the gender reveal box idea, find another costume for her, and just use the shirts to tell our family.

Well… then I decided to go back to the gender reveal box. Can you tell I’m very indecisive?

And after a trip to Hobby Lobby that cost way more than I was planning, I got everything I needed to make the box. I definitely should have taken more photos while I was doing this, but give me a chance, I’ll get better at these DIY tutorials.

DIY materials

3-4 pieces of blue 12×12 scrapbook paper
3-4 pieces of pink 12×12 scrapbook paper
3 different size glass cups
Marker
Large letter stencils (about 4” tall)
X-Acto Knife and/or scissors
Cutting Mat
High-temp hot glue gun and lots of glue sticks
Wide ribbon (without wire)
20” Balloon sticks
Decorative Tape
Pink or Blue Balloons
A small box or 4 pieces of cardboard (making sure they are all the same size or 2 and 2 are the same)
Extra-Fine Glitter (Optional)
Spray Adhesive (If you use glitter)
Spray Glitter Blast Sealer (If you use glitter)
Paper plate (If you use glitter)
Some type of mask or something to cover your face while using the spray adhesive and sealer

The first thing I did was cut out the letters that said “It’s A…” using the stencils. I made sure I traced them on the back of the paper on the side that wasn’t textured, and that I traced them backwards. This way there were no marker spots on the front of the letter. I used a swivel knife for this, but I wish I would have had my X-Acto knife from my art school days. It definitely would have worked better simply because it’s easier to grip and the blades are stronger.

Next, I went on to cutting the circles. Pain. In. The. Butt. I used 3 different size glasses, a regular drinking glass, a smaller juice glass, and a shot glass (the most action that shot glass has ever seen). I used glass cups because the blades will go right through a plastic cup. In the beginning, I started by just putting the glass cups on the paper and cutting around them. I broke about 3 blades doing this. I finally ended up using a marker and tracing the cups, then cutting them out with scissors. The circles looked a million times better and went a heck of a lot faster! Unfortunately, neither option was great for my arthritis.

Next, I started glittering the cardboard! Who doesn’t love glitter?! It definitely gave the box a little more pop.

I had 4 pieces of cardboard that the printing lab I go through uses to send photos with. Luckily, I had two longer pieces for the front and back and two shorter pieces for the sides. But it would be just as easy to use a small box and cut the top and bottom pieces off, or go to an office supply or craft store and find pre cut pieces of cardboard.

I used a scrap piece of cardboard and laid it outside to spray on, then put an old sheet on the floor inside, as well as another piece of scrap cardboard on top of the sheet. I did each piece individually because the spray adhesive dries pretty fast and it absorbs into the cardboard quickly.

If you are pregnant, please use a mask or something else to cover your nose and mouth with while spraying the spray adhesive and sealant, or have someone else do it for you.

Once I sprayed the cardboard with the adhesive, I brought it inside and sprinkled the glitter across it, then tipped the cardboard all ways to make sure it was covered and then poured the extra off onto a paper plate to use to get any spots I missed, or for the next piece. I repeated this for each piece of cardboard. After they had dried, I took each piece back outside and sprayed them with the sealant, so maybe it would help keep the glitter under control just a little bit.

Make sure the pieces are completely dry before you start gluing the letters and dots on or they will not stick. I used my low-temp hot glue gun for these, and I wish I would have had a high-temp glue gun for this part. On Halloween, a lot of the circles ended up falling off. First, I attached the letters, and then I started I putting the dots on. Get creative with this part, mix and match different sizes, don’t be afraid to put the same colors together, keep it random. I did different groups of 1, 2, and 3 dots.

After those dried, I started gluing the cardboard pieces together. My low-temp hot glue gun definitely did not cut it, so I borrowed my husband’s aunt’s high-temp hot glue gun. I guess I should probably invest in one of my own. I put the glue on the edge of the smaller piece and then held it to the back of the bigger piece until it set up. Then, I put a thin line on the outside, and put a thicker line on the inside and let it set. I repeated it with all 4 corners.

While the hot-glue set up, I started wrapping the balloon sticks with the decorative tape. I only had enough tape to cover 17 out of the 20 sticks, and I only put 11 on the box. I originally planned on taping them in a spiral form, but that ended up messing up the design on the tape and would have taken more tape than I had. Instead I cut a piece to the length of the stick, then laid the stick on the edge and rolled it onto the tape. Definitely make sure you press the tape and seal it good, it seemed as if every time I picked one up, it was coming undone.

After the cardboard was all set up, I attached the ribbon straps. I definitely suggest using your little one to help measure so it fits well. I had to take a guess because SJ was asleep, and I didn’t want to wait (remember, I have no patience). I decided to use more of a suspenders design so that it was less likely for the straps to fall off.

Then I used the ribbon to create little pockets in the back corners, and the middle for a place to put the balloon sticks. And that was it! I had it all finished the week before Halloween, and then the day of Halloween I added the balloons since we found out the day before.

After actually dealing with the costume on Halloween, it was a little difficult. SJ couldn’t actually walk the whole time with the costume on. So she rode in the stroller and we had to carry the balloons and the box separate-which was a complete pain. My sister-in-law got the idea that I should have turned the stroller into the box and attached the balloons, I wish I would have thought of that! Or, I at least should have had a second costume simply for trick-or-treating.

Did you do a gender reveal? Tell me all about it!

October 25, 2017 by themessagemama

Coming to Terms With Hating Being Pregnant

I’m not one of those moms who will tell you how amazing pregnancy is, how I just love it, I love the pregnancy glow, and so on and so forth. Because as terrible as this makes me sound…

I hate being pregnant.

Especially the first trimester (and part of the second trimester), because I get sick and feel like I’m not even human most of the time. And then after the sickness fades a bit, I don’t like the feeling it gives me then either.

I will say that I’m incredibly lucky that I don’t get as sick as a lot of people (although it seems like almost every person I talk to hasn’t been as sick as I am). It runs in the family. My mom had hyperemesis gravidarum with both my brother and I, and many of the women on that side of my family get extremely ill with pregnancies. And while I know how lucky I am, it doesn’t make the sickness and pain I have go away.

My morning sickness isn’t like the usual morning sickness, since I don’t throw up. But oh how I wish I could! Maybe then that feeling in the back of my throat (you know, the one that’s there 24/7) will go away for just a short period of time. With SJ I threw up a few times, but I haven’t thrown up at all with this pregnancy. I just have trouble eating, can smell everything which makes the nausea even worse, and have almost fallen asleep in front of the toilet on many occasions because the feeling in my throat got so bad it actually tricked me into thinking I would finally get some relief.

This constant feeling, has turned me into a shell of the wife and mother that I was. I can hardly cook, my house is messier than usual, and I have resorted to cartoons for SJ because most days I can’t get off the couch. That leads to a tremendous amount of guilt. Guilt for putting my family in this situation, and guilty for the feelings I have towards being pregnant – guilt that I hate being pregnant.

I don’t like having to rely on others for help. I feel terrible asking my mom or mother-in-law to watch SJ because I just cannot move that day. Or I need to get something done, but can’t handle entertaining her and getting it done because my energy is completely gone.

And then the guilt really comes in because I did this to myself. Well, kind of. DJ and I tried for this baby; we knew I was going to be sick, and we knew it was going to be hard. We have the most amazing family ever that I know are happy to help, but all I have felt so far this pregnancy is guilt, which has made me hate pregnancy even more.

Don’t get me wrong, I am over the moon excited for this baby and all the joy it will bring to our lives. But, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I simply hate being pregnant, and that’s okay, because it doesn’t mean that I hate my baby, don’t want my baby, or that I am ungrateful for this experience.

I know many people don’t get to experience this, and my heart breaks for them. I know too many that are affected by infertility, so that makes me feel even more guilt. Telling the ones I love that I was pregnant that are suffering or have suffered infertility was one of the first things that came to my mind after I got that positive test. I immediately felt awful that I was pregnant – I didn’t know how to tell them. And now I feel terrible that I don’t like being pregnant when that’s all they want.

But I have to remove myself from their experiences, because this is my experience – and for me at this moment, it is terrible. It is a different level, it is not a worse level than what others are going through, it’s just different. There is always someone out there going through something worse than you, but that doesn’t mean that for you, at this point, it isn’t still terrible to go through. It’s like saying someone can’t be sad that their pet of 16 years passed away simply because they have a friend that had a person in their life pass away.

While yes, it is definitely completely different situations, you both deserve the right to be sad, to go through levels of grief. It does not invalidate one person’s feelings simply because one situation is a different experience. They are just that; different.

But my hatred for being pregnant also stems from the fact that I didn’t have the best experience with my pregnancy the first time around. To put it in a simple nutshell: 6 weeks to 22 weeks I was incredibly sick and could barely eat. 22 weeks to 27 weeks were great (except that ear infection that put me in the hospital with dehydration)! At 27 weeks to 36 weeks I went into preterm labor, was in the hospital – for 2 weeks of which we weren’t sure what was going to happen to our daughter or to me – was at home on bedrest for 7 weeks, and then got released. 36 weeks to 38 weeks I felt awful because I was huge and hadn’t been allowed to move for the past 9 weeks. I had trouble getting around and was very impatient after being told the baby would be here any day.

I can tell you one of the first thoughts I had in the moments after SJ was born was “Thank God I’m not pregnant anymore!” It was the first time I really admitted to myself that I hated being pregnant.

It took me 3 months, but I knew with this pregnancy I wouldn’t love it and I would have to be okay with it. It took me 3 months to be okay with it. But I am.

I love my daughter, I love the baby growing in my belly, I love my husband, I love my family, but I do not love being pregnant. And that’s okay.

July 18, 2017 by themessagemama

Date Night In Box: How to Have an Awesome Date Without Getting a Babysitter

My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.

John3: 18

I will admit, one of the things I miss most about before we had SJ, was being able to just decide to go out to eat last minute, or go to a concert and not have to worry about getting home so whichever one of our moms could go home, or just go for a drive without a care in the world. Basically, spending time together without having to worry about finding a babysitter or getting home in time for bedtime. Don’t get me wrong, SJ is completely worth it, but after having her, it’s more important than ever to make sure DJ and I have a strong relationship. And to do that, we still have to date.

You date before you get married for a reason, you get to know each other, you make your relationship stronger. Some people can do that faster than others, and some people take a little longer. Like us who were together a little over 4 years when we tied the knot. But dating shouldn’t end when you get married, if anything you should date MORE. There are more stresses after you get married; money, kids, house issues, and so much more. Keeping your relationship strong with your spouse is key to getting through any hurdle together.

I talked last week about Our Date Night In With God, which was our experience with the Faith Night In Box. We also tried their sister company, Date Night In Box. It was different, but it brought DJ and I closer together, and DJ was pretty happy it took care of the romance part and he didn’t even have to try! The joke between us is always that I’m the romantic of the two of us, and he struggles a bit on that front, but I knew that going into the marriage! So hey guys, if you struggle with the romance your woman wants, just let Date Night In Box take care of it. A happy wife makes a happy life right? Even the Bible says you don’t want to be around an unhappy wife ?

Better to live on the roof than share the house with a nagging wife.

Proverbs 25: 24

Honestly though, this is the best solution I have found to being able to become closer to my husband but not have to go out. The Date Night In Box came with {almost} everything you need for the night. The only thing it didn’t come with was the groceries for the dinner recipe, but there was only a couple things I didn’t already have on hand. DJ had to work that night and SJ needed to eat, so we didn’t get to make the recipe together, but it was still something new that we got to try. It was Chicken Picatta and it was a hit all around. The only thing that wasn’t a hit was the rice that I made up and attempted to make fancy. I’m not the greatest cook, but hey I tried and it looked good next to the chicken.

After SJ went to bed we attempted to make our galaxy sugar cookies…so you know how I mentioned I’m not the greatest cook? Well that extends to even being able to screw up sugar cookies that literally all you have to do is add water to. Maybe I let it chill too long? I have no idea, but they were too sticky and we couldn’t get the cut outs to actually cut out. Which means instead we just had regular round sugar cookies…that I cooked too long. But the dough was super yummy!

While the cookies were baking {too long} we made our lanterns. We learned a little history lesson about constellations which I found interesting because I love history {which is why I was an art history minor with absolutely no plan to do anything with it}, and then we poked the constellations into the bag. Then we got our {burnt} cookies, made our hot chocolate, grabbed my phone with the playlist they made on Spotify playing, brought the baby monitor, and took a blanket outside and looked at the stars.

We used an app they gave us to download to look at the stars and figure out where everything was. We couldn’t get too far from the house so there was a tree in the way and we couldn’t exactly find the Date Night In star. But we did get to lay out there and just talk. It was like we were the only two in the world. It was just what we needed as a couple. We also decided we were definitely going to be doing it again!

What do you and your spouse do for fun date nights in or out?

You can get your Date Night In Box here!

*This post contains affiliate links. Please read my disclaimer here.

July 11, 2017 by themessagemama

Our Date Night In With God

Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.

1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 7

A lot of changes happen in your marriage when you have a baby. You start focusing more on being Mom and Dad than you do on being Husband and Wife. There isn’t as much time to go out and be a couple again. You have to find a babysitter, you have to actually change out of yoga pants, and wash your hair. Ugh, who really wants to do that? Okay, every now and then I like doing that, but sometimes it is nice to be able to sit back and focus on us without having to go through that.

Along with not having time to go out and be a couple, it’s also hard to find the time and energy to actually work on being a couple. Part of me starting this blog is to document how I am trying to bring God into DJ and I’s marriage. Even though we met in church, God has never really been something we talk about. We don’t openly pray together, or talk about what we might be struggling with in our faith, and that has always been something that I really want to work on. But honestly, if it isn’t something you already openly talk about, it’s kind of awkward to bring up. I wanted to find a better way to bring God into our relationship.

Faith Night In Box

To help us on this journey, I decided we needed to give the Faith Night In Box a try. I had been looking at their Date Night In Box for awhile and had been dropping hints to DJ that I really wanted to try it, well he doesn’t exactly pick up on those hints, and I’ll write about our experience with that next week. But, The Faith Night In Box seemed to fit what I really wanted us to work on in our marriage. When I first got it, I was so excited! I opened it up and read through what we were going to be doing, and as DJ put it “we have to talk about our feelings.” Which he is NOT good at doing. Like at all. So if your husband is not the romantic, talk about his feelings, emotional type, you guys can still do this and help your marriage. And I promise, it isn’t as bad as he thinks it will be.

We started after we put SJ down to bed, we were able to sit down, open the box, and dive in to what the box was all about, and get to eat the yummy snack that was provided too. I think I might have eaten most of it…whoops…but they think of everything! They even provide a playlist that you can go on your phone and play (we live in the middle of nowhere and our internet didn’t seem to want to work that night so we had to go without for part of the night).

The box we received was based around the verses 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Which is probably one of the most well known verses that talks about love and marriage. It was even one of our readings at our wedding. But what this made us do, was really look into the verses. It broke it down and gave us starter points to talk about. And not just about God, but our faults, what we need to work on, how we can help each other, and it really let me see a different side of my husband and get to know him. That awkward wall started coming down.

But then the cherry on top that DJ just LOVED, was we got to write a note to each other at the end based off what we had talked about. The cool part though, we used a glue pen and wrote it on watercolor paper, and then after it dried we used the watercolor pencils they provided to color it, and use the washcloths and cups provided to do the water part of the water color. We actually had to do this part about a week later because right about then SJ woke up and wasn’t having any part of falling back asleep. That’s the best part of these though, if you have to stop, it isn’t a big deal and you can pick right back up when you get time.

I cannot wait to do another month of the Faith Night In Box. Even while we are focusing on being Mom and Dad, we can still focus on being Husband and Wife. If you want to join us on this journey of bringing God into your marriage, definitely look into the Faith Night In Box here! Take a look around their site as well to see their other Night In Boxes, like their Date Night In Box (keep an eye out for my upcoming blog about that), the Mommy Night In Box, which I so totally need as well, and the Daddy Daughter Night In Box that I definitely wish SJ was old enough to do with her Daddy.

What ways do you and your spouse work on your relationship?

*This post contains affiliate links. All opinions expressed are my own. Please read my disclaimer here.

July 4, 2017 by themessagemama

SJ Turns 1!

Like I mentioned in my post My Top 7 Must Have Baby Products, SJ turned one on the 29th, and this past year has flown by! I’ve been planning her birthday party since I was in the hospital on bedrest and had nothing else to do. Yet the day came…and I still had nothing done! I am probably the world’s biggest procrastinator. It’s a terrible habit that I am trying to break (If you have any advice for that, please leave a comment to help a mama out!). But somehow…her party all came together and it was amazing.

I did a boho floral type theme with lots of greenery accents and flowers, which is the same theme as her bedroom. I wish I would have taken more pictures, but I felt like I was being pulled a million different directions all day, then when it was over, I swear my head was spinning. As a photographer, it was hard to hand my camera to someone, but definitely have someone take the pictures for you that day! Or even hire someone to do it, you won’t regret it.

I got her smash cake from Tiers of Joy, and it was GORGEOUS! Seriously the prettiest smash cake ever! Then I (of course) had to go the non traditional route and had cake donuts, to match her one year photo session, with little signs that said “‘Donut’ Ever Grow Up Wild Girl.” I made the donuts for her photos, but with so much to do already, I ordered the donuts for the party. But the biggest hit was the cake pops! My best friend and I stayed up until 1 am the night before making them, but they were so worth it! And they were incredibly easy to make. Except I got kicked off dipping them in the chocolate and was only allowed to put the sprinkles on…whoops!

SJ had an amazing time and got some of the cutest gifts. Looking back (a day later), I wish I wouldn’t have stressed so much about making everything “perfect.” I wouldn’t change the decorations or anything, but I wish I would have been able to relax that day, take photos of everyone loving on SJ, and enjoy my little girl turning one. I want her to be able to remember how many people love her and care about her. That’s why I decided to also do a time capsule. I asked everyone to write a short note to her to open on her 18th birthday. I put them all in a box and closed it, and hopefully in 17 years I remember to give it to her!

I need some out of the box ideas for her 2nd birthday party now! I want to hear all of the details from your little one’s birthday party! Tell me all about it in the comments!

June 20, 2017 by themessagemama

My Top 7 Must Have Baby Products

I cannot even begin to tell you how many lists just like this I looked at while I was pregnant. I probably looked at AT LEAST 3 a week, it was insane. And if I add them all together, some of these items are on them, and some of them are not. These may not work for your baby, but, maybe they will!

SJ turns one in 2 weeks, wait what? I swear I just had her! How did those 38 weeks of being pregnant with her go infinitely slower than the past year?! Well, while the time went extremely fast, I also had to learn extremely fast what worked and didn’t work for my gassy, picky, non-sleeping baby, and these are what I absolutely could not and cannot live without! Some of them are pricey, but sooo worth it!!

1. Mommy’s Bliss Gripe Water (and all their other products)

SJ was probably the gassiest baby ever! And if I ate anything tomato based…I could say goodbye to sleep. Unless I gave her Mommy’s Bliss Gripe Water. My favorite was the night time version. I try to find the most natural products I can for our family because in the long run, it truly makes an impact on our health. I love knowing that I am giving her something that is helping her, and is actually good for her! There is so much in motherhood that you question yourself about, it is nice knowing this doesn’t have to be one of them. Even with her being older, I still have to give her gripe water for an upset tummy every now and then. I tried other brands of gripe water and gas drops, and it sounds crazy, but nothing worked as well as Mommy’s Bliss. We also occasionally had to use the Constipation Ease and we use the Probiotic Drops which I love, and I plan on giving her the multivitamin drops soon too.

You can find the regular Mommy’s Bliss Gripe Water here
Mommy’s Bliss Gripe Water, Liquid, 4-ounce bottle

And you can find the AMAZING Mommy’s Bliss Nighttime Gripe Water Here
Mommy’s Bliss Gripe Water Night Time, 4 Fluid Ounce

2. Lulla Doll by RoRo

This one took me awhile to buy. I just could not justify spending $80 on a doll. A doll that all the reviews says sounds like Darth Vader…but works. SJ was waking up 7-9 times A NIGHT! And that was before I would reluctantly bring her into bed with us (to safely bed-share), and even then she would wake up at least one more time. Guys, I was a zombie! I could not function during the day and was beyond drained. I couldn’t do it anymore, I broke, and I ordered the Lulla Doll with the comfort that they had a 30 day money back guarantee. But guess what, it worked! Although the first night I wasn’t convinced but then found out she was actually coming down with something and that’s a whole other story (105 fever, ER, Doctor, X-ray, tests, then it all miraculously went away). Well after she got better, it worked! She wakes up once or twice a night now and sleeps in her own bed! It is glorious!

3. SwaddleMe Blankets

SJ was one of those babies that liked to be swaddled from the very beginning. We learned that in our first 2 nights at the hospital when as soon as her swaddle would come loose she would wake up crying. Now swaddling is one of those mythical things that OB nurses make look super easy but is actually extremely difficult for a sleep deprived mother to do: enter Swaddle Me blankets. These things rock, they keep her nice and bundled and her arms can’t escape. And the best part, it’s super easy to do half asleep! Make sure to get a few of these because it is inevitable they will get pee, spit up, breastmilk, or formula on them.

These are the ones we used and loved!

SwaddleMe Original Swaddle 3-PK, Who Loves You (SM)SwaddleMe Original Swaddle 3-PK, SuperStar (LG)

4. Sleep Sack

After SJ started to be able to roll over, we couldn’t use the SwaddleMe anymore. I was absolutely devastated and terrified of what was to come. After reading an article on Facebook from a mom whose son died at the sitter’s due to his blanket suffocating him, who was then talking about the benefits of a sleep sack… I knew that was the way to go. It was safe and still helped SJ feel secure and kept her warm. We used the fleece Halo Sleep Sack for when it was cold, and lighter weight muslin sleep sack for warmer nights. They definitely helped the transition out of a swaddle and I can’t imagine having to go through that without them.

These are the ones we used

HALO SleepSack 100% Cotton Wearable Blanket, Baby Blue, Large
HALO 100% Cotton Muslin Sleepsack Wearable Blanket, Giraffe Plaid, Medium

5. Owlet

This one was a must have for me from the beginning. I am a paranoid person (thank you mom) and the peace of mind the Owlet brought me was incomparable to anything else. It was easy to use and we have only had one false alarm in the year we have been using it. I was lucky enough that my aunts all went in together and got this for me for my baby shower, but even if I wouldn’t have gotten it as a gift, I 100% would have ponied up the money to buy it. There were a couple times I had to go without it (make sure to bring it on all vacations, and when taking it from the baby’s room to the charger don’t get sidetracked and put it in a random bin in the closet *insert eye roll emoji here*, also apparently dogs think it is tasty..) and it was pure torture not having it those nights, I got no sleep. Well, less than usual because it was before the Lulla Doll. So if you are as paranoid as me and don’t want to wake up your baby when you try to sneak in their room and check on them 5 million times throughout the night, get the Owlet.

6. MilkSnob Multi-Use Cover

Every time I go out in public, I always get at least one compliment on my MilkSnob cover. Whether I am using it as a nursing cover, carseat cover, or a shopping cart cover, everyone loves it. Especially SJ and I. When I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to breastfeed, and I knew I would feed SJ wherever we were if she was hungry. And while some people are comfortable nursing without a cover (go you!), I’m not. I am pretty comfortable with my body, but SJ has always been one to be a mover while she’s nursing. From her feet constantly kicking while she nursed, to having to unlatch every 5 seconds to see what was going on, I knew I needed something comfortable yet reliable to keep me covered. I used one of those apron coverups for all of 2 minutes before I learned I needed something better. So I went on the search for something better and found a 360 cover on Amazon. This first cover I got like this that I found somewhere else was wayyy too thick and for nursing in hot weather it was awful. I had been seeing MilkSnob on my social media, so I figured I would give it a shot. When I got my MilkSnob cover, I became obsessed. It was perfect. Not only to nurse with, but also to use on SJ’s infant carrier to keep the sun, wind, and rain off her face, and also now that she is old enough to sit in a shopping cart, it keeps her hands off the yucky cart handles as well as it catches all her toys and snacks. Bonus, put a blanket underneath it in a shopping cart and lay your baby in the seat part for a comfy nap spot while shopping. I also used it as a stroller cover at one point and on her MamaRoo since she kept kicking her blanket off.

*Also, their swaddle blankets are incredibly soft and SJ now won’t fall asleep without hers. See the Lulla Doll Picture.

7. HappyBaby Wrap

There is no way I could rank these products because they would all be #1, including my HappyBaby Wrap. SJ was born the end of June, so it was pretty hot, and every other wrap was so dang thick, but this one was lightweight and comfortable. SJ was just shy of 2 weeks and I came to the realization that we had absolutely no groceries in the house and my husband was working 12 hour days. So what did I do? I loaded up SJ in the car and went shopping. After spending 15 minutes on Youtube perfecting how to tie the thing, I felt confident enough to use it in public. She slept the entire time, right there on my chest. I even had someone ask me how to use it because they wanted one! I felt like Super-Mom. I used this every time I went shopping, when SJ was fussy and just wanted to be held but I had to do dishes or vacuum or some other adult thing, and when she was 6 weeks old and I went to Indiana to watch my step-brother in the DCI World Championships, it was a lifesaver! The only thing I regret is not wearing her more, just around the house or wherever, because I miss feeling her tiny body sleeping against me in it. Now she just wants to look around everywhere in it and be her wild self instead of cuddling.

Our first grocery shopping trip!

The only way I could get anything done in those early days

There you have it, my list of 7 things that I couldn’t survive without the first year of being a mother. Some of these are pretty pricey, but looking back I would buy them again in a heartbeat. Some I wish I would have had a lot sooner (Lulla Doll). I hope this helps you and makes your first year as being a parent just a little bit easier!

*All opinions expressed here are my own. This post contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links and make a purchase, I’ll receive compensation. Please read my disclaimer here.

May 23, 2017 by themessagemama

11 Verses to Pray When You Don’t Feel Good Enough

We all have those moments when it feels like absolutely nothing is going our way. The house seems to be getting messier despite feeling like all you have been doing is cleaning, the kids have been fussy for days it seems, the laundry is piling up, you have no clue how the sink is full AGAIN, and it just makes you feel defeated. That has been my week. That seems to be my week more than it isn’t. I truly put “The Mess” in The Message Mama.

When all that starts to pile up, I don’t feel good enough. I don’t feel like a good mom and I don’t feel like a good wife. And those two things are literally my job. I’m a stay at home mom so the house should be spotless, the laundry should be done, and cooking dinner every night shouldn’t be a problem, right? Wrong. I was doing so well last week and was getting everything done! I seriously felt like I was on top of the world. Then one day, ONE DAY, SJ decided she didn’t want to nap and wanted to be permanently glued to my hip or my boob, after that it was like I just couldn’t get back on track, which put me in a funk, which made everything that much worse.

When I am feeling so down on myself, it’s hard to think that everything will be okay. When I was in high school I dealt with some issues that we later found out were related to a medication I was on. It was very hard to see myself as worthy of anything pretty much all the time and I, wrongfully, turned to self-hurting. Now that I am older, more mature, and off of that medication, I have learned that there is a much better way to deal with feeling that I am not good enough. Prayer.

God is so truly amazing. He really does not care how bad we have messed up, how far we have fallen behind, or how far off his path we have gone; he loves us. He unconditionally loves us no matter what! And, he wants to be there for us, he wants to help us fix our mistakes, catch back up, and get back on his path he has chosen for us. I recently started reading Uninvited by Lisa TerKeurst and it is AMAZING. In the beginning she has an excerpt from one page taking up an entire page and it says,

The mind feasts on what it focuses on. What consumes my thinking will be the making or the breaking of my identity.

So the question we must ask ourselves when we are feeling like we aren’t good enough is; do I want to focus on all the things I have been failing at, or do I want to focus on how much God loves me and how he will help me through anything and everything?

Here are 11 verses to remember when you just don’t feel good enough, but you want your identity to be rooted in God and not your failures.

*Download the PDF version of 11 Verses to Pray When You Don’t Feel Good Enough here.

May 11, 2017 by themessagemama

5 Ways to Teach Your Daughter How to Serve her Future Husband in a “Feminist” World

Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a real blessing. (TEV: Psalm 127: 3)

I might be getting a little ahead of myself with this post being that SJ is only 10 months old, but her future is always on my mind. Especially in our world today. One thing that I always pray for, is that DJ and I will be good role models for her, in all ways, but in what to strive for in a relationship especially. In my post How to Serve Your Husband in a “Feminist” World I talked about why I serve my husband, and how it actually embodies what feminism truly is about: equality.

When people hear “serve your husband,” they automatically picture an obedient wife who does as she is told and waits on her husband hand and foot. But that isn’t what serving your husband is, even though that’s what society wants young women to believe it is. Serving your husband is not being his waitress, it’s being his wife. And that is what we need to teach our daughters, and are the 5 ways you can start doing so today.

Start the Day She is Born, or As Soon as Possible

Kids are impressionable and take in every, single, thing. Whether you think they are watching or not. It’s honestly incredible. Just think back to your own childhood and remember more than just moments, but rather how you view your parents now because of how they made you feel then. Chances are, that will stir up a lot more than trying to remember a specific moment in time. Now I’m not a psychologist by any means, but I’m pretty sure my husband and I’s relationship now will impact our daughter later in life. It matters now, because how can you really pinpoint that moment in time when it starts.

You created every part of me; you put me together in my mother’s womb.

(TEV: Psalm 139: 13)

Be a Role Model, Both of You

I want SJ to see me always being there for her father when he has a bad day, even if I have too. I want her to see he and I be goofy. I want her to see me making him supper after he’s been at work all day providing for us. I want her to see me loving her father no matter what. In seeing that, she will see me serving her father.

But she will also see this; she will see her father always being there for me when I have a bad day even if he has too. She will see he and I be goofy together. She will see him making me supper after I’ve been working all day providing for us. She will see her father loving her mother no matter what. She will see her father serving her mother. Because he and I are equal, and that is what “feminism” is.

A wife is not the master of her own body, but her husband is; in the same way a husband is not the master of his own body, but his wife is.

(TEV: 1 Corinthians 7: 4)

Encourage a Good Relationship Between Her and Her Father

Your daughter’s father, or father-figure, will be the first man in her life that she loves. He will be her role model to who she looks for in a husband. I know as a stay at home mom, I play a huge role in SJ’s relationship with her dad. She is with me all day, and I’m the one who gets up with her at night because DJ has to be up by 4 AM if not earlier, which means that naturally, I’m the one she usually wants. Because of that, I always try to give them time to play, or let him console her when possible, because she needs to see just how much he loves her.

By doing this, she will build her relationship with him by being a loving daughter, it will get her ready to be a loving wife, because she will see that having a man in her life that she can rely on but encourages her is a good thing. She will see a dad will do anything for his daughter, a daughter will do anything for her dad, a man will do anything for his wife, and a wife will do anything for her husband.

I will give up whole nations to save your life, because you are precious to me and because I love you and give you honor.

(TEV: Isaiah 43: 4)

*I understand that this may be difficult for some for many reasons, and there are limitations to this such as if she does not have a father-figure in her life, so you must lead by example in these scenarios.

Talk to Her About It

If there is one thing I have learned about kids, it’s that they tell it like it is whether we want to hear it or not. Be like them, and be honest with your daughter. Leading by example is HUGE, but so are words. Talk to them about why you like to do things for your husband, and how he in return does the same (that equality thing is key here). Answer her questions honestly. By having conversations like this, it will put into her mind what a relationship SHOULD be like, and teach her to respect herself when boys do come into the picture.

She is strong and respected and not afraid of the future. She speaks with a gentle wisdom. (TEV: Proverbs 31: 25 – 26)

Teach Her How to Serve God

Above and beyond everything, we should always serve God first. I want to encourage SJ to always serve God, and to focus on her relationship with him before she focuses on her relationship with boys. Something I wish I would have focused on in high school, but that will come in a future post. When we learn how to serve God first, it in turn prepares us to bring God into our relationship, and allow us to know how to serve our husband in the way God wants us to.

Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honors the LORD should be praised.

(TEV: Proverbs 31: 30)

A major point we should focus on when teaching our daughters how to serve their husband is it should be about showing them that we are equal to our husbands. Talking to her about how God hand picked her father for her mother, and in serving our husbands we are serving God. Serving isn’t about being treated as a lesser, it is about being treated, and treating, with love.

How do you teach your little ones important messages? Tell me in the comments.

May 11, 2017 by themessagemama

Serving My Husband in a “Feminist” World

For the devout women of the past who placed their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful by submitting themselves to their husbands.

(TEV: 1 Peter 3: 5)

All we hear about in today’s world is how a woman doesn’t need a husband, how man and woman should be equal, and how in marriage a woman shouldn’t have to do anything for her husband. Well, that is all true. But it needs to be put in a different context. A woman doesn’t need a husband, but she should because he will make her stronger and will always be her confidant. Men and women should be equal, but they also should realize they need each other. A wife shouldn’t have to do anything for her husband, but she should want to do everything she can for him, and he for her.

The feminist movement has taken on a whole new meaning than what the actual definition of feminism is. According to Merriam-Webster.com, feminism is ” the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.” But all I see on social media is man-bashing. And I know that is not what they are trying to do, or what the point of everything those who are part of the movement are trying to do, but from someone who is looking in from the outside, that’s what it seems like.

And with all the “man-bashing” that fills up social media, it makes a wife feel like she should be independent, not do things for her husband, or feel like she’s better than her husband simply because she’s a woman and “deserves” to. Which is the complete opposite of what feminism is truly about.

A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other’s needs.

(TEV: 1 Corinthians 7: 3)

So let’s look at how feminism SHOULD affect a marriage.

A woman doesn’t need a husband, but she should want one. My husband is my best friend, I can tell him anything and everything and he won’t judge me. He is my equal, even though I feel like he is way better than I am, but he’s the reason I keep working to be better. That’s a reason I need him, he inspires me to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, Catholic, and person. And on a more practical note, I need him to provide for us. I am beyond lucky enough to be able to be a stay at home mom, photographer, and now blogger, so…I’m not exactly bringing in the big bucks. He’s the provider for our family so I can live out my dreams until I can actually start to help provide for our family. Which is part of why I want to do everything I can to make his life easier.

I need him for all those practical reasons like providing for us, but I also need him for other practical reasons like how he is renovating our home. I was proud of myself for just hanging up some photos by myself, I don’t know how I would survive without him in that context. But I like to think he needs me too. I asked him if he needs me and he said, “Yeah I need you!” And when I asked why he responded with “Because you’re the love of my life!” I’m sure there are more practical reasons, but that’s my husband, a man of many words.

Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. None of us ever hate our own bodies. Instead, we feed them, and take care of them, just as Christ does the church; for we are members of his body.

(TEV: Ephesians 5: 28 – 30)

Going above and beyond for my husband isn’t a chore, it’s a gift. Just because we fall into the cliche of he’s a “working man” and I’m a stay at home mom (even though I technically have 2 “jobs”), I believe we embody what feminism is truly about. We are equal, we are a team.

God created woman from man, in the grand scheme of things, man came first, but, he was nothing without woman. He needed her, and she came from him, but they were always treated equally. God never treated Adam and Eve differently. Man and woman have been equal since the beginning of time, we just have different rolls in this world.

I serve my husband because it makes me happy. And by serve, I mean I do extra things to make his life easier, I go out of my way to make him happy, I do a little extra when he’s had a bad day. Because I’m his wife, and he’s my husband. So I will continue to serve him, even though the “feminist” world tells me I shouldn’t.

How do you serve your significant other? Tell me in the comments below.

May 11, 2017 by themessagemama

3 Reasons Why You Should Leave the Dirty Dishes

My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action. (TEV: 1 John 3: 18)

When did having a perfect house become more important than spending time with our family? Social media is packed with photos of moms, kids, and houses that are picture perfect, so naturally, we feel like we need to be that way as well. Which leads to us spending all our free time trying to keep the house perfectly clean, perfect meals cooked, and well everything perfect.

Hahahahahahahahaha, okay I’m done laughing at the fact that anyone expects a mom to keep anything completely perfect when there are tiny humans (and husbands) living in their homes. Now before I get into the nitty-gritty of this post, I am not telling you to throw out the broom and mop and let the house become a mess worthy of a TLC special. I’m asking you to find balance, because every family needs it.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people. (TEV: Colossians 3: 23)

We need to work with all our heart for our families, and that just doesn’t mean working to cook and clean, but it means to work on our families, not just for our families. So here are my 3 reasons why you should just leave the dirty dishes (or dirty floor, or laundry, or anything else)

Your Kids Are Only Little Once

You have heard this a million times, but I’m going to tell you again, your kids are only little once. If you are a mom, you know that time flies by! Like it’s almost unbelievable how fast it goes. You have to ask yourself what is more important, taking an hour to play with your kids in between dinner and bedtime, or spending that time cleaning every night?

And slightly off point but related, you get to spend some time with your husband during this point too and see him playing with kids as well. And there is nothing that makes you fall in love with your husband just a little more.

Give Yourself a Break

We all need a break every once in awhile. If you’re like me, trying to keep up with a clean house stresses you out. And yes, for some it will stress you out to leave the dishes in the sink (or the dirty floor, or laundry, or anything else) but, playing with your kids without giving a care in the world makes all of that disappear. Make a little bit more of a mess with them, roll around the floor, be goofy! Just let go. You will feel refreshed.

Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame.

(TEV: Romans 12: 11)

Remind Your Kids You Can be the “Fun Mommy”

Our days are filled with, “Pick up the toys,” “Please put on your shoes (for the thousandth time)” and “The baby does not need to ‘insert ridiculous thing the toddler is doing to the baby here.’” It’s easy for our kids to forget that we do like to play and have fun with them with those phrases being our daily routine. SJ might only be 9 months old, but, my Godson that I babysit is 4 and frequently reminds me that I have too many rules. I finally started to let go a little bit and let him take all the cushions off the (brand new) couch and make a fort and I bought some board games, then I took a break from trying to catch up on laundry while SJ was napping and played with him. You know what happened? He was happy! He was better behaved that day. He remembered that I’m not all about rules and cleaning.

Leave the dirty dishes. Play with your kids. Remember what being a family is about.